I’m still waiting on news as to whether or not I have a full time job coming up. It is making me nervous. My hopeful future boyfriend is still telling me that I need to focus my attention elsewhere because there’s nothing I can do.
Sure that’s true, but I have to have a plan. I don’t do well without a plan or at least an idea of what I can do when shit fails.
Maybe that’s from being fucked over so many times. I used to be spontaneous, and willing to just jump into things. But things happened to me and all the sudden, spontaneity meant getting hurt or getting in trouble. The excitement died.
Plus, with my financial situation, I am scared to be navigating without a security blanket. He says it’s fine and lots of people do it. But I don’t want to accept that. I want to figure out how to have that blanket. I want an emergency fund with at least 6 months of expenses so when shit goes south, I don’t have to panic.
I don’t think that’s unreasonable to want. It does make me wonder if he should be hopeful future boyfriend. I don’t want to be that casual about money. I want someone who will be interested in being financially sound, if not for our lives but our eventual children’s lives.
Of course, he is right that I need to not freak out. If anything, I will get a new job. I just hope it doesn’t come to needing a new job and me having to desperately take the first one I get.