I am so much more comfortable being honest and vulnerable with you all, and I would unlikely be able to point most of you out in a crowd. Hell, I may never meet most or all of you.
It’s interesting when you think about it. I feel ok with airing out my full, uncensored self on something that is essentially more open and exposed than my real life. The logic is weird when you look at it that way.
There are people in my life that I want to be this open and vulnerable with. For instance, I always wanted to when ex-friend and I were friends. It wasn’t even that I didn’t trust him. I did, practically with my life. However, I would clam up and never tell him things.
Maybe it was fear of judgment, because he could be rather forthcoming with his opinion. It makes people see him as an asshole. Ok, a lot of times, it makes him an asshole because he doesn’t seem to care about other people’s feelings.
Sometimes, I think that’s why I don’t think it’s always a bad thing to care what people think. We should take time to assess the feelings of others and try not to be assholes all the time. Maybe we would be less selfish as a society if we did that.
Of course, I take it to an extreme that sometimes makes me a weak little doormat. And I hate that, because I am neither weak nor a doormat. I deserve credit for my cajones, damnit! If I remember correctly, that needs an accent but I forget how to do it.
I think there’s a way to be a decent human being without someone taking advantage of you. People don’t appreciate the art that is kindness.
Why are kindness and weakness treated like they are practically the same? Honestly, it takes more strength to be kind in a world of assholes. Being an asshole is the easy thing to do because it removes responsibility. You can trample all over people and not feel a thing about it. That’s the easy way out.
I’m not always kind, of course. Sometimes, people piss me off by treating me differently… for instance, because I’m a woman. Like somehow it is ok to take over my work because I’m female. I will not be kind in that situation because it allows that behavior to be excusable.
So yeah, be kind, until someone goes against your core belief system. Give those motherfuckers hell.
That’s probably not a constructive way of dealing with differences in ideology.