Luxury Liners of Sugar

The light is off. I didn’t do a damn thing to it and it turned itself off. Do I have to call this a miracle or some shit like that? I’m just saying that maybe the universe decided to stop fucking with me for a little while. Of course, I’m more than happy with that concept.

A supervisor asked my ex-friend and I to work together on a project. When she did it, we both must’ve had a look on our face, because she asked if it that was ok. I wonder if everyone happened to notice that we’re not friends. Granted, when two people go from being constantly around each other to basically ignoring each other, you know something has gone awry. It went fine, for the record. We managed to act like adults. I mean, it still holds a bit of that ache of what once was, but it is what it is.

My friend had to cancel on me on the gym, today. She’s caring for one of her mother-in-law’s dogs, and the dog was sick. Of course, it was fucking beautiful outside, so I went home and went for a nice walk instead. The nice walk included the hill equivalent of eight flights of stairs.

Also, it included patches of road removed and marked with orange construction cones. Part of me was tempted to take a picture with one for all of you, but every time, one of my fellow neighbors was out there with their Judgey McJudger face. Bastards are always ruining my fun.

So, alas, the picture never came to be. Maybe I’ll get one tomorrow if the cones are still everywhere. Watch, the crew will actually be here to pave these spots, and my fun will just be a wistful memory of what could have been.

That sounds like my life. Oh burn.

I think saying, “Oh burn,” makes me like one of those older people who tells dad jokes. Of course, I think 31 is a good age to start. Might as well get practice in for trolling my eventual offspring. I’d like to be an expert by that point of my life.

Lately, I want sugar. Like boats full of sugar… and not just little tug boats. No, I want like luxury liners full of sugar. Figuratively, not literally, of course. Right now, I’m sitting here, thinking about eating the chocolate bars I purchased for s’mores, which we had yesterday.

I also want macaroni & cheese. It’s like all I can think about is getting some sort of cheesy, pasta goodness with a side of a giant bowl of ice cream covered in chocolate everything. I know it wouldn’t be bad to indulge these desires, so long as I tell myself to stop after one. I don’t need the luxury liner of sugar when I can probably satisfy this with a small bit of chocolate.

I still hold fast to the principle that you have to indulge a little. We all know what happens when things are made forbidden, and that is a trap I do not want to fall into. It’s why American sex education fails horribly. Making sex forbidden until you hit a certain threshold just makes it more enticing. But, you know, abstinence.

The funny thing about abstinence is that I was probably one of the least religious kids in school, but I was also probably one of the minority who remained a virgin through high school. Granted, I was also borderline obese with zero self-confidence, so that probably helped.

Anyway, yeah… teach the responsible way of doing things rather than forbidding them. That’s my lesson for today.



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