People… I almost forgot to write my daily entry. I was sitting here, feeling a bit drowsy, and suddenly, I went, “Fuck! You forgot the highlight of your day!” I like telling my 8 followers about my life. Yes, I see you all, and thank you for getting me to my favorite number. This may not be fast growth, but it’s ok. I just want to write, talk about my life, and crap like that. You know, keeping with my goal of not being an asshole.
The letter I wrote yesterday helped immensely. Today, I wrote him a calmer letter, where I realized how I fucked up, sort of cleared the air of my other fuck ups, and well… I feel lighter. Most importantly, I told him how I felt insecure with him, and I realized that when we first were sort of testing the waters in a more than friendship way, I was confident. I knew who I was, where I was going, what I was unsure of, and everything. Then, I wanted to do anything to be what he could love, and that shit was fucked up, man.
So now he knows all the truth, and if he still hates me for it, fine. But it was beautiful release for me to put this all down and send it to him. Also, because I’m a creep and I checked, it shows he at least saw it. Whether or not he read it is yet to be seen, but I know he acknowledged its presence. Maybe we can get to a point where we can be friends again. Definitely not lovers, and definitely not close, but friends.
People keep telling me I look thinner, already. I know it’s my shirt, but I really haven’t weighed myself. Maybe I am thinner, and I am making some progress in this healthy journey I find myself trying.
Oh, I found a whole bunch of YouTube videos where they did tutorials on all the weight machines at my gym. I watched them all, absorbed the knowledge like a freakin’ sexy sponge… and I used it, today. I did some arm/upper body stuff. I am so feeling it, too. The good thing I learned is that I’m not as weak as I thought. I was starting at 40 pounds on pretty much every upper body machine I used.
I’d do leg workouts tomorrow, but I would like to be able to walk the next 3 days. Also, I want to look into some of the free weight things I can do. I keep reading that weight machines are great, but you need to incorporate free weights into your strength training regimen. Seriously, I can’t believe how often I see that mentioned in forums related to strength training.
My dog keeps snoring. Of course, when I try to record her… she magically returns to normal doggy sleep breathing. The little shit. I swear she knows when you are trying to record her.
So yeah, Kelsey sleepy. Kelsey go night night now.
Yes, Kelsey is weird.